.:107 Days:. and so... it's back to THIS

Dear diary,

I am back to using this blogskin because i just didn't like the purple colour of the previous one. Search on blogskins.com for better ones but i just can't find any. I am seriously going to learn more about html and stuffs when i've got the time. Kinda frustrating when i've got the design in your head but i just lack the technical skills to do it. That aside , this week have been prety hectic with assignments and with the mid semester exam coming up.... it's helluva stressed up week... gonna have 2 quizzes coming up this coming monday ! Shrug.

Celebrated san's birthday at a turkish eating place on tuesday. I guess she was pretty surprised at the little surprises for her that day. Hee. I know many other things happened on that day. But i am just too drained to blog it all down.

Seriously i am mentally so tired. All the cooking , laundry and studying are driving me nuts. And yet this is the most crucial semester. You know u've got to keep up on everything here yourself. Tiredtiredtired. Is this the life i've got to lead when i get married? Come back from work , do housework and then sleep. Shudder. Dun even dare to think about it. I dread this feeling... like... u feel that u've already push urself to the limits but yet there're still so many things undone and then again u know that there's no other choice but to push urself even further? It's like u're really testing ur limits. This overseas stint really make me realised how much further i can push myself ... which is good in a way , cos i'll prob never realise my limits if not for that . But sometimes it gets really tiring. Each time u try to suppress ur emotion , each time u tell urself that if everyone can go on why can't u , each time u try to deal with ur own emotions urself because u know that ultimately its U who matters. How much can others help u ? Appreciate their words of encouragements.Yes. But encouragements without me doing something outta it is really useless aint it.

I can just go on and go about how stressed i am , how negative i feel , how terrible i feel coped up in this cube. I can go on typing like what i am doing now .... debating whether i am wasting my time typing these junks. Am i ? I think i am but still i want to go on typing because that's my way of escaping the mountain of things that i've got to complete. ARGH. Depressing entry. Like give me a break. Doing reports till 2 in the morning when u've got to wake up at 6 is seriously not funny.

I've got no mood to touch a single lecture notes. Maybe later. I need a rest. I hate feeling so defenseless. Maybe i need to venture further. Push myself a little more. Just a little. I don't want to jeopardise my future.

Love
Jorine