Dear diary,

I had a fun day today, woke up too late thou, blame bing!!!! he promised to wake me up last night but he didn't and then he said that i told him not to wake me up... hmm.. haha ! anyway, i woke up at 12.30 ~ when i realised that it was THAT late i picked up my hp and called him , good thing was he was already ready to go out... reached my hse even b4 i showered... lolz... today was supposed to be our 'v-day celebration day ' , went to century sq simply cos we can take a nice long but yet not too long bus journey there... haha... duno why , but i really love taking bus trips with him... the feeling's really relaxing...he read his mag , i listen to my mp3 , him dozing off and stuffs... haha... anyway that's only provided there's seats in the bus ... we agreed that he will choose the movie and i will choose the place to eat... wanted to choose fish and co ~ but in the end , since billy bombers was near we went there... rushed thru the meal which was really DUD~ and then went to watch constantine ... i really love the seats in the cinema... shld be going there more often to watch movies.

We were supposed to write a note for each other as a v-day message kinda thing but ... both of us didn't... guess will be passing my note to him on wed instead. On the bus trip back, had some serious talk with him. It's really rare that we get into the mood to talk serious stuff nowadays... compared to last time. Somehow since he started working officially, time spend with him became physically more yet mentally less. Could be because both of us got the 'juz wanna have fun ' kinda mentality when we meet, esp since we dun get to meet as often as we like... as it is , it's already hard to coordinate my tuition timing with his working hrs . Sometimes it can get so bad that i got no choice but to go over to gek poh to have lunch with him b4 he goes back and take a nap to prepare for his night shift. Well...guess that's really a tiny thing to do but then again , i will not do that if i really have the choice, which shows that i REALLY do not have any choices... all righty back to the topic we discussed on our way back , it's was him who started this whole discussion thingy , looks like he's not having as much of a good time as i thgt he was working as a police . When he told me stuffs abt his work , it suddenly occurs to me that i SHLD have been a more understanding gf and that i shld have asked him abt his work more often knowing that he's not that kinda guy who will speak his problems out... well... felt guiltly.... maybe in this r/s i am like the more vocal party and he's like the understanding one... juz gotta so used to it... it was 'good' thou listening to his grumbles... like first time listening to grumbles makes me feel good... ego squadmates... stress from piles of paper work, first time i know that he actually spends his time in the station writing tons of reports... ya ... SHOOT ME! talked abt his concerns , like shld he start studying as soon as he save enough or... are there other alternatives... how our life have to dove-tail ... like if he's studying then it's best that i am also studying so that we can study together... more motivations... more time together...etc... financial concerns... blahs... 21 ! hell ! we're both reaching 21... juz feel like crying sometimes... what have i achieved??? He's sure that he will be getting outta the police force after 5 or 6 years at most. Guess he will have to study part time then... I sense tough route ahead... but from the way he talks i also sense how much he thgt abt things... that i never thgt he will... the way he talks sometimes scares me... he's so serious.... it's getting into me... that i am not young anymore. That i shld start to plan for my future. It's always like this. Getting into these kinda mood simply isn't great.

Since it's like v-day , maybe i shld write something more...erm... appropriate? haha. With the past year gone, and after close to 3 years with him, i really do still love him as much . Have to confess that there were periods whenby it became tough to maintain the r/s esp since we went thru so much adjustments in life within a year. With me working, then not working , then studying , and him not working , then 6 months of training then working and all. But glad that it's going to be 'constant' at least... for now. O no ~ i am still wondering what i shld do after the mdis stint. Anyhow, he has been sweet, he's still the forgiving one , thou working seem to change his temper a lil bit. I can see that he's more concern with his future and his great desire to get his degree really inspires me to study more. As a couple, we grew from all the sweet nothings in the first year to the occasional msges now that tingles in my mind the whole day. haha. :D Now we're going thru a phrase of self discovery even more than when we were in poly. I never thgt that there will be someone who'll care for me so much..... his actions speaks louder than his words.... i can feel it.... for me... it's more like words but no actions... lolz... poor him... maybe he's used to it... maybe he prefers it this way... he's like those... quiet.... behind the scene person... i duno what kinda gf i am to him... really.. haha.... juz glad that he is happy that i am the kinda person i am now.... for now..........

Love
Jorine

Love
Jorine