Dear diary,

Such is the fate of human.... was really sad yesterday to hear that HUANG NA was found naked and dead in the evening ... i knew that chances of finding her well and alive was dim but deep down i longed to hear on the 9pm news that the search for huang na ended... with nothing less than a happy ending... but that was not meant to be...

i remembered seeing a cute girl on the cover of TNP on my way to tuition , out of curiousity i bought the paper and was appalled to learn that a girl was missing... another missing case i thgt... my memory bank immediately shuffled out all the 'missing cases' i heard over the years... the most vivid one being 'that girl wearing a cowboy hat' ... Like most singaporeans i followed the news of huang na and as days goes by that hope of finding her alive flickered .... her bubbly face with her smirkish grin 'graced' the newspapers daily... it was not a good sign... more news means bad news... and ya.. they found her dead ...hear the news in the evening... at sweetie's hse...

I told myself... well.. at the very least they found her...

So well... sweetie drove me back b4 going to PA... reached home... did the usuals.. then decided to try on some clothes... like mixing and matching them up... heard the phone ring... dad answered and he was like... har.. ya... and then speaking in malay... then i heard him calling iis... iis practically shouted .... ' SIR... UNCLE DIE' ... ~ ok... uncle.... is my old neighbour... i rushed outta the room... asked my dad what happened... and he told me...uncle is dead... ~ well.. what could be worst than that...

This is the story of uncle......

Uncle was our neighbour during the bukit batok days... at first our family didn't take to him... we were kinda disgusted by his family behaviour... there were only 2 guys living in that hse... one is uncle and the other one as we know only later was uncle's brother ... the one who gave us very bad impression was uncle's brother.. and when u dun know them well.... we juz concluded that both of them are 'baddies' so to speak.. Then one day uncle's bro moved out n in came 'auntie' and su ... su was only a lil girl.. 5 years maybe? It was only later that we came to know their story...

Uncle is a singaporean who married a malaysian , and they got a daugther su... uncle's wife died when su was only a baby... uncle decided to moved outta malaysia and back to singapore...prephaps to start life all over again... uncle remarried ... hoping to give Su and better family environment... su... was a really 'happy go lucky' kinda girl... she was always smiling...always.. jumping ard... always seen with her bicycle... our family was really close .... we were very happy that we've got good neighbours... jovina picked up her malay from them.. our 'doors' were always opened ... we can juz go over to their hse and they juz come over to ours... i will always remember the times whereby i will be waiting for my mum to go over to uncle's hse to juz chit chat .... cos when my mum goes over... i will go over too..haha.. i duno why... i juz enjoyed listening to them talk ........ they live a frugal life as uncle was the only one working... when they told us abt their intention to move out... my parents feel that it was time or us to move on... and so..they went in search of a new place for us too... we shifted and the conversations that we used to have came to a stop.... CNY and Hari Raya was juz abt the only time we visited each other... phone calls to them was getting lesser and lesser....my parents would still visit them only once in a blue mood.... their hse can be seen on the KJE.. so whenever i pass by i would think to myself... this is where uncle and auntie stay.... i regret to say that i never went there b4... whenever my family went ... i will be 'busy..' i never thgt.... that this will happen.. i never thgt that i will visit their new hse with a downcasted mood.... i thgt that i will visit them soon.... but the soon never came.... i will never get to greet uncle in his new flat anymore.... it's really sad that i get to visit their hse upon the death of uncle..

I have many fond memories of uncle... he was a good father and husband... serious... no doubt abt that... he was retrenched at one point.. his wife wanted to go out and work..but he said no... he was worried for her... cos auntie can't speak english and was unfamiliar with singapore as she spend a huge part of her life in indonesia leading a 'tai tai' life... he was the father... who encouraged her daughter.. who really sat down and studied with her....

Last night,after hearing the news... my parents, me and iis went to their hse... when i saw auntie..... i was speechless... i got so much to tell her... i figured action speaks louder than words... a hug was what she really needed at this point ... the moment i reached their hse...i was searching ard for su.... that poor girl... she lost both her parents at such a tender age... she is 15 this year.... we were in su's room... when she came out from her shower... she saw us... but choose to 'ignore' us... i can see that she was 'pretending' ........ she called my dad... uncle hock... then my mum.. auntie julie... and nodded to me... i gave her a feeble smile..

Mum went over to hug her... told her... 'u must listen to ur mummy now' .... Su's teared.... it was really depressing.... i cried with her... how hard it must be on her... her father, her fren.... passed away.... my mum asked her.. what happened... cos auntie couldn't speak english... she told us that uncle has been not been feeling well for 2 weeks.... but he refused to visit the doc... and still went to work.. he juz felt weak... but other than that everything was ok... then yesterday seeing that things were not right... they send him to the hospital.. the doc told them that he had 3 blocked ateries... they 'unclogged' 2 but the 3rd one was too thick and too 'clogged' they couldn't do anything... 5 mins later...... the nurses came out and annouced that uncle died...

Su related to us... what happened on sat.. the day b4 he passed away... they went shopping and uncle bought a new phone for her ... when su lost her hp on april uncle told her that she will have to wait till dec ( her b'day)to get a new hp... so she was surpised that he got a hp for her so soon... he even traded in his phone for SU's new phone... he told Su... take care of this phone..it's the last time i will be getting u a hp already... Su conveyed the msg as... dun lost ur hp again or u will not get a new one... it's what parents always said anyway... but she never ever in her wildest dream think that this will really be the 'last' phone fromher dad... it was his parting gift...... she took out her report book... show it to us.. sobbing... this is the last time i will have my dad's signature on my report book.... she gave it to him to sign juz a few hrs b4 his death... that scene was really heart wrenching...

Before we went home, mum gave them some money and hugged su....

I am not particulary close to her..... she's someone there tugged in the corner of my heart.... she part of childhood memory....

Su...

I share ur grief , mourn over ur dad's death ... then pick urself up and study hard , ur dad will want to see u excel in ur studies, i can't offer u anything... all i can do is to offer u a hug when u need it... a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on ... it's going to be a tough period for u and ur mum , hang in there... for there will always be a rainbow after the rain... life may never be the same again... take the challenges head on ... helping hands are all ard u...

i juz really wan u to know that.... somewhere out there............. ur dad will be watching over u... make him smile........

Hugs... jo



It's a sad entry........ death takes away loved ones.


imightnottellubutireallydoloveyou
Jo