Dear diary,

It has been some time since i have even a tiny wenny bit of quiet moments all by myself ... and yes.. i had some myself... after he accompanied me back i was left all alone at home... sisters were still not back yet.... solitary seems so much of a blessing all of a sudden , i have been so caught up with work , with plans for my future , with arranging time out with my frens , with keeping the relationship going... seem to have time for everything else 'cept 'reflection time' haven't had quiet moments to reflect on my actions... i've changed so much.. i know... but in a good way? i am not the jorine i WAS anymore... yes... ppl change as they grow ... as changes sets in... i left the a path of soaking up in girlish delights with my frens , of chatting with them till so late.. of doing all things... sweet.... gossiping for hrs at a go... for another one .... and yes.. i am a happier person in another sorta way... dun not regret where i am now... but i wonder... juz wondering...... abt the trail of memories i left ....... somehow... i feel a tinge of guilt whenever i think of the past... esp so with my frens... time for them has been exchanged with my love for him... i use to think before i met him.. i will not ever... exchange frenship for love... my frens values so much to me... frenship will be with u forever... but the same cannot be said of for love.... yet when i am caught in the situation i thgt i will be so familiar with.... i thgt i knew how to react... it busted... i never reacted that way i wanted to.. it hard... when the other half... surrender so much of himself ... so much more than u... he had me at that... i gave up trying to be the frenship-values-so-much-more... girl i wanted so much to be ... yes.. some frens told me straight in my face... he's so impt to u... or... hey we hardly spend anymore time... others... didn't tell me so... and those are the frens.. i felt guilty towards... but it's hard to explain... i juz hope they understand... he has given me so much... i am so happy with him... i changed... i am the old jorine no more... my life does not revolve ard him.. no... not yet.. not so soon.. but he's definately a factor whenever i made impt decisions ... and yes..... audrey baby... u'rethe one who come to my mind...... everytime... i so miss the times... with u... but yet... situations changed... we've gone thru so much together... so much ups and downs... best of frens to so-not-on-talking-terms... and then... thru so much more... we were back again...hee.. smile.. and ya... he came into the pic.. and.. the rest is history... remember the times.. i went to gecko to meet u...kino shopping... and so much more...... ya... sweet memories... and then.. u went on with ur life and me with mine... seems that we went thru so much ups and downs without each other knowing... but sweetie.. i want u to know that i will always be here for u... in the silent sorta way... so missing u... sweetie....

as for now... i am glad for the occassional phone call and updating sessions... hee... so.. when's the next? :D

Love
Jorine